Songfic Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
by Xandryh
Summary: Harry visits the graveyard where his parents and godfather are buried. He thinks about what he has lost, and what he's got to do. One shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, they all belong to JK. Rowling. The song belongs to Andrew Lloyd Webber.  
Spoilers: the Order of the Phoenix

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"**You were once**

**My one companion**

**You were all**

**That mattered**

**You were once**

**A friend and father**

**Then my world**

**Was shattered"**

The graveyard was as silent and empty as always. A chilly breeze ruffled up the already messy hair of the tall young man that was slowly making his way through the cemetery. His face looked sad. His amazing green eyes were filled with sadness and love.

'_Now I'm truly alone. Everyone who's ever cared about me, really cared about me and tried to prote__ct me are forever gone, every last one of them. Even you, who seemed so invincible. The closest thing I ever had to a parent, and you were ripped away from me, just like my real parents. You were like my father and best friend at the same time. 'Cause you and I shared what I can't share with anyone else; my past. You were there. I don't remember, I was too young, but you did. You lost them, us, but you got me back. And I finally got the one thing I had needed for so long, someone who cared about me. The Weasleys do, and Hermione, and Lupin too, but it isn't the same thing. It will never be the same…'_

"**Wishing you were**

**Somehow here again**

**Wishing you were**

**Somehow near**

**Sometimes it seemed**

**If I just dreamed**

**Somehow you would**

**Be here"**

He continued his walk through the cemetery. Not even looking where he was walking, it seemed like he had been here many times before.

'_I can't believe that you're gone, that you're dead. You just fell through, I could hear people talking and hiding behind that bloody veil. But you didn't come back… Then what other explanation is there? None that I know __of, and none that anyone else knows of. I just wish I could see you again… I wish I could talk to you. I need you… I was so convinced that there would be a way to bring you back. Why wouldn't there be? Hell, I'm a wizard, and I didn't even know it until I was 11! They tell me magic exists, but we can't bring you back. I know you can't bring the dead back, but it seemed to be possible with everything else we can do…'_

"**Wishing I could**

**Hear your voice again**

**Knowing that I**

**Never would**

**Dreaming of you**

**Won't help me to do**

**All that you dreamed**

**I could"**

He made a turn and walked along a small path leading up to three graves that could be seen far away.

'_But I can't keep trying to find a way back for you now; it's probably not even possible. I've got to focus on the task ahead. I'm going to avenge __you, all of you; even if that means that I'll go down too. I don't care, as long as the world gets rid of Lord bloody Voldemort, then I can go down too. I know you wouldn't want me to dwell on the past; you would want me to keep strong and do the best I can. You would want me to just try, nothing more, nothing less. '_

"**Passing bells**

**And sculpted angels**

**Cold and monumental**

**Seem, for you**

**The wrong companions**

**You were warm and gentle"**

He glanced around at the many statues and stones that stood throughout the graveyard. All of them stiff, grey and cold. He let out a sigh.

'_This isn't where you should be. You should be at a place full of life, preferably alive yourself. These cold dark things doesn't suit you, even though you're name was 'Black'. I shouldn't be here either, walking up to an empty grave next to my parents'. We didn't even get your body back. We just put a grave here for closure, and so that you could be seen together with my parents, the way it used to be.'_

He stopped in front of the three graves and lay down a single white lily on each grave, letting his finger trace the words on each headstone for a moment, lingering longer on the one with his godfather's name on it.

"**Too many years**

**Fighting back tears**

**Why can't the past**

**Just die**

**Wishing you were**

**Somehow here again**

**Knowing we must**

**Say goodbye**

**Try to forgive**

**Teach me to live**

**Give me the strength**

**To try"**

He closed his eyes in pain, his hands turning white from the tight fists he was making.

'_Damn this! This is so hard! I miss you so damn much, and there is nothing I can do about it! I'm tired of feeling all this pain all the time. If only I could see you one last time, if only I could be able to say goodbye… I'm sorry. I never wanted it to be this way. I never meant for this to happen. If only I had listened and done the damn occlumency like I should've, and things wouldn't have to be like this… I need to move on… I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to do that. __I don't want to forget you, I just want to be strong enough to go on and remember all the good times without breaking apart inside.'_

"**No more memories**

**No more silent tears **

**No more gazing across**

**The wasted years**

**Help me say goodbye**

**Help me say goodbye..."**

He stood up and watched the three graves for a moment, taking deep breaths.

'_I love you. I know that you're always with me; I know you'll be there with me when I fight Voldemort in the final battle. I know you will help me, give me strength. And when the battle is over, who knows, maybe I'll be with you. Maybe I won't. And if not, then I'll meet you later. I have to go on living without you no matter how much it hurts or how much I miss you. Forgive me for the mistakes I've made, and help me stay strong, I need your guidance. And now I will leave you to rest.'_

One last time his eyes read every line on each headstone, and then he turned around and walked away and messed up his hair so that it was even messier than before, just like his father used to do, there was a glint in his green eyes that showed he was ready for whatever fate had stored for him, just like the glint his mother used to have in her eyes, and there was a wicked smile playing on his lips showing his pride and eager to enter the battle and get this over and done with, just like the smile his godfather used to have…

--

Author's Note: Perhaps he's too much out of character. I'd love to know what you thought about it.  
English is not my native language, so please excuse any grammatical errors.


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